How Rhythm Molded Everything I've ever Tried to Feel
This post contains small portions of "magic," reader advisory has been issued and the intent to solve is required. For what the colors of the text mean, refer to the "Exploration by the Sea blog." Please take care of yourselves and please eschew from desecrating the sanctum.
This may or may not be a long one, or a strange one, oh goodness it may be so many things.
The topic is...rhythm.
Originally it was to be about rhythm games and how integral they were to me growing up, but instead I added rhythm as a key timeline. This is because it has always been with me. From my youth, to when my piano lessons, to those gargantuan classrooms where I waited on the sidelines begging. from growing up with Vocaloid, to the early morning dew riddled, bloody conversations, with the paper in the trees and the fragment of doves; outward to the ocean far away, following the seagulls on and on across the sunset, tracing it, drawing it, remembering it, and now.
I was always inclined to rhythm, melody, poetry, memories, and being on the outside looking in.
Once I sat alone in this big empty theater, I was being punished; voices were all around me too. I was crying, while trying to hide my tears as the others rehearsed lines for the upcoming musical. Then, far far back. I was behind stage...in a different large theater. I was just the smallest thing then, and to show how important that week was, I still haven't forgotten it to this day. I swore it lasted for months but everyone said it was only a week.
For how much I loved it, I wish my parents cared more, or more specifically my dad was ever there at all to lift me up. He was not, and he was just gone. Naturally, I had so many aspirations. I wanted to play music, to go on stage, to grow up like any other kid. Instead, anyone who has read this blog or knows me has been made aware of the story. It didn't happen. I'm still okay with that.
And when I did have the opportunity I skipped school every day. I got all the work done but still I wasn't there, wasn't present. In the end, I did get to see the musical, the one I was begged to be apart of, and in the end, I did get back into music, even though I never got to perform that duet with those people. The piano rooms were quiet for lunchtime, they had to be.
"In a soundproof room, in a windowless world Keep your voice down or dull your words" - La Dispute, To Withstand The Force of Storms.
Bringing it together, those memories were scattered, like rose petals after death. For this blog I want to go back, all the way back, from the tail to the mouth to the tail and the mouth again, to create and forge a new cycle.
I'll rewind the clock, after all why did I buy that pocket watch years ago?
Pocket Watch Pulchritudinous (insert random synonym)
Allow me to introduce something cardinal to my whole self, a pocket watch.
This pocket watch was originally bought for its coolness, its memory potential, and because of its ability to rewind time.
Hihihihihih, I jest! It can be unwound which I will use as an analogy for winding back time. Not only that, but its design is precious, and its importance is unparalleled.
The outer shell is a thick, cast in a deep black. It's cold to the touch, providing me with an ethereal warmth
When gently pried open, with colder hands than the metal itself, a pristine, almost crystalline window appears. Underneath its shell, it is here where the majority of time can be told, where the hands meet the edges, where I remember gently winding it up just to listen to that ticking sound. It was within that motion I lost myself; while also feeling.
The watch itself is like "A perfect broken image of the future, envisioned in the past." - La Dispute.
When opening the back, the intimately crafted gears and mechanisms bare a new meaning, both sides are intertwined, front to back.
As for another view, no gold border exists. The elegance remains.
Winding it is easy.
But the best part is watching it tick of course.
I must say however, and with the red, The clock must be turned back. 
A snapshot into the past is being created.
TIME UNWOUND..................................SEARCHING FOR THE BEGINNING OF RHYTHM..........................................................................................................................................................
INDEXING INCOMPLETE.
RESTARTING.....
...
...
...
...
ROADBLOCK...
ROADBLOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In order to continue, please insert [ONE] MEMORY.
Insert a blue memory? Errr, this blog is reality, why is there another "magical" leakage? Sorry readers! This blog tells my story, my whole life, my whole story! Meowever, before I "wind back the clock," I guess I have to submit some sort of memory?
Weird....this blog is reality, there is no magic, no fiction.
But...mmm I guess there is a memory related to how rhythm has always been a part of me?
I don't know anything about "colored" text though? I mean I know about using red like the game Umineko, but this is weird? Why would that be needed for reality? Unless, hm, unless the amount of obfuscation at work has confused the blog? Or perhaps the "difficulty level" is increasing? Maybe...
Errr, anyways, here is a memory!
"With Our Hands, Covered in Wounds"
Light spoilers for Mizu5 and Ena5 from PJSK.
I've gotten back into one of my favorite, no, my favorite rhythm game lately. Out of all the rhythm games and gacha games I've played over the years, Project Sekai is still recent, only coming out around 2021. Still, I started playing about as soon as the English version released. I remember it clearly, it was 2022. I joined sometime early in the year.
I didn't even know the game existed before it just..showed up! 2021 was a really really rough year, and early 2022 was when everything started to get better. I faced everything head on, as I do now, while still having the small, yet big things which cause me to run away sometimes.
I was reunited with the tower I spoke of last blog, sometime around January to February. It was when unspoken words and an impromptu sleepover would happen. Maybe I introduced the game to that person then, maybe I did not, but the point remains the same that I had a piece of Hatsune Miku, with almost no expectations.
Compared to other popular gacha rhythm games, I always found PJSK to be different; much more user friendly, with a (most of the time) incredibly well written and/or fun story/surprisingly deep? (Yes I believe most of the effort gets put into WxS and 25iji stories but they are the most popular groups and my favorites too. need angst.)[I love the other three too though, I love them all!]
Also, it wasn't super afraid to shy away from certain topics. Although it is a new generation of Gacha rhythm games, I believe it carries on the legacy of all that came before. (Like BanG Dream! and Lovelive.) I also enjoyed the roster + diversity of the groups. Also, I love that it's inspiring a new generation of kids to have a fun game to play, to lookup to, to talk about, maybe even kin from. (in a healthy way) (kinstagram vs kin tumbler is not a war, but moreso two different battlefields, like the ocean vs the air.) [what am I talking about!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >~<]
But also for the people who grew up with all of the older rhythm gacha games, it's so so comforting, so warm, so...? I don't know but, it's really special to me.
Of course there is so much more to the story, but no one needs to talk about that!!!!! right!!!!???
Let's talk about the upcoming ena5 event on the English server!
This one is going to be a big one, without spoiling too much from Mizu5, it can be seen in the overworld that Mizuki ran away from everyone, but most importantly her best friend Ena.
Ena5 explores what happens after that...and well, I think it is the most mizuena thing ever. I have been GRINDING pretty hard to get as many gems as possible to get the cards for the event.
I went from nothing to 45,000 right now. I've been doing everything I can...trying my best everywhere.
This card is really really important to me. I sincerely hope I can get it.
If I'm being honest this event and everything is extremely relatable, and I know when it comes out on the 30th I am going to cry super duper bad hehe.
Also, I did some yuri research, and I think mizuena is like one of the most "basically confirmed" ships from the game. I mean, even back when the game first came out it was pretty obvious hehe.
MEOWEVER...here is my yuri research!
Interesting dialogue from the card art with Ena holding Mizuki's hands...
I remember when I was outed back in middle school.
I think the biggest point of evidence is in their trust rank...the late rank title is literally "Crossing the boundary one day." ?!?!?!?!
Also this next event, while being ena5, it really is more like mizuena5.
Also the trained cards bring back the incredibly important cherry blossom motif, which not only has prevailed throughout 25iji's story, as far back as Secret Distance. (one of my favorite events ever) but it's also important to Mizuki.
I cannot express just how much it hurts in a good way to see something depicted like this. I have always related to Mizuki as a character, from being into lolita fashion at a young age, (although I kind of stopped coordinating last year and swapped to mainly casual ones because I needed to get a new wardrobe...i was deep into ED when I first got into lolita fashion; I was quite unhealthy.)
But seeing something depicted with such grace, doubly so for it originating from Japan, means so so so much. I have wanted to cosplay Mizuki for years but it's always the wig which stops me. >~< [I have always sucked at wearing wigs!!! I just gotta get better...]
For some reason all of this feels really relevant but I can't tell why...can I?
Oh and the song for the event, Yoka ni Mitorete is really good too. I will quote some of my favorite lyrics...
(0:55 seconds) "Mizuki: I remained unable to move, Ena: Hugging you tight as you were crumpling down, even as I have found your loneliness... Ena: Your heart, without anymore room to be hurt again.
Mafuyu: Make a sound so tender it was painful
Mizuki: while pressing down that badly festering wound
MEIKO: You were still laughing, weren't you?"
(1:42) "Ena: Even as I wanted you to cry in front of me, at the least..."
(2:25) "Kanade: We, who have forgotten how to walk. How far can we go like this, I wonder?
MEIKO: if you don't want to go anywhere, then that's alright as well.
Ena: How about we stand here and talk? If you don't want to talk about anything.
MEIKO: Then let's enjoy the viewable scenery from here.
Ena: And if you don't want to look at anything, then let's stay like this forever,
Ena: While closing our eyes. So long that it's you, I'm happy."
(3:25) "Ena: I'll be right next to you right away, so you just stay there and wait, as you are.
Mizuki: My heart, as I felt your body heat with my fingertips" (mizuena overload?!?!?!)
(4:11) "Mafuyu and Kanade: We are moving forward in this broken world,
Ena and Mizuki: Yet we are breathing, together."
...awh...
I am also maybe going to try tiering like crazy for this event. (maybe.)
I'm aiming for top 1000 maybe? I mean I am super busy so I prob cannot make it there BUT it's fun to imagine hehe.
This game is everything to me. Also, those lyrics are extremely gay(?) The power of their friendship will propel 25iji!
The requirement to turn back time has been fulfilled.
The pocket witch, after ingesting the blue memory, uses it as a form of oil, rapidly spinning faster and faster until something dismal comes into view, something laced with smoke, cd players, and emptiness.
Time-->REWIND: 1, Rhythm and music from Ages 0 - 10.
The scene is: Victoria's old old old old old old apartment, touched upon in the previous blog.
In her dad's room was a large cd collection. On some mornings, she was introduced to his music taste through music videos, songs, his guitar, and more. At her grandma's house, rhythm/music was not parsed much after indexing. The music consisted of easy classics, light jazz, gentle piano. Her mom's location, the music was not indexed much either. The music at some of the people they lived with was indexed however. There was lots of Nirvana, punk rock, rap, and hardcore.
At her dad's house, he mainly listened to old rock, metal, new wave, and early morning videos. MtV music videos existed as well, on replays that were shown to Victoria.
She saw the guitar her dad played and would always mess with it at times; play with the strings and pluck them out of tune because it felt fun. Victoria's mom did not approve of Victoria being shown certain violent music videos, Victoria herself didn't mind as she liked the music.
In the end, Victoria's music taste would end up settling into loving new wave and power ballads, along with old old music. It was her grandma's favorite radio station which did it, and her grandma who would push her to the bulk of this memory. As a kid, she did still participate in some rhythm and music.
She had those basic recorder lessons at school, with the most difficult challenge of them all being Hot Cross Buns and learning Greek afterwards.
She enjoyed singing, and enjoyed theater. It was a first grade play where she joined her only musical.
Her grandma encouraged it as a summer camp of sorts. The location was this historic city, where at the time it was still mostly a drug den. To the young Victoria, the stone-like and old timey buildings added to a sense of fanciness.
Indexed using images from other guests, the theater seems to be large.
Somewhat related, but she was never really pushed to make friends, nor hangout with them much. She moved around too much to maybe even consider finding something concrete. Even so, when she was at that program for Summer, she remembers having so so much fun being backstage in this huge, premier place.
She felt like royalty; from its dim lighting to its red velvet carpets. There may or may not be a correlation to Victoria's love for red velvet and cheesecake somewhere buried in these memories.
The musical made her so happy. She felt like a star.
The rhythm may have been short lived but it never left her.
Changing the scene to her Grandma's house now, her grandma's fondness for painting and leaving half finished canvases piled up across the house was not her only hobby. She also loved music, namely seeing Victoria play piano. Another hobby of her Grandma's was sewing, because at the least there were so many sewing baskets and needles. As a kid, Victoria may have toyed with pressing the end of a sewing needle over and over to feel the pinprick, maybe this was because she watched her mom do the same thing? Although her mom was diabetic.
Nevertheless, her grandma had a large, expansive keyboard with hundreds of voices, features, and modulating tools. This is what truly kickstarted Victoria's love for rhythm, and music.
Around this time was when Victoria would start getting piano lessons and browsing various instrument stores; never in search of a luthier, but something new.
For years and years she spent playing on that keyboard, delighting her grandma with almost nonsensical sounds, but also the fragment of a melody here and there. Around 9-10 years old, and a little after that, Victoria's dad moved to her Grandma's house. He brought with him his equipment, which was when Victoria would start practicing by plucking more strings on his guitars, sitting by the guest bedroom's window, gazing outside the window, past the Buddha statue which was sometime around, it was a gift from someone else most likely.
Light shone through that room like white glimmers of dew, pattering and lightly dispersing amidst the air, as it should have done. The room's layout was adjacent to a hallway which had a bathroom in the middle, and Victoria's room at the end of it.
This was the house spoken about so often, the one with such pale white geometry. This room, the former guest room, housed two beds, a wide open window at the end of the room, and a large desk situated in the bottom right corner, where the single laptop resided.
This room also had a closet with storage for other goods. Her dad's other musical equipment involved bongos, maracas, harmonicas, and other goodies which she would play with from time to time.
Please keep this in mind however: The distance between the rooms may have been short, but it could not have felt more insurmountable.
As time moved on, things would change.
She stopped going to piano lessons but still practiced, and over time as much as she loved the keyboard, she needed something with weighted keys. To her, it was the only way emotion could be shown, the only way she could further her skills.
Before forwarding the watch however, please consider another memory.
At some point Victoria acquired a 3DS, one of her favorite consoles of all time, if not her favorite of all time. On said 3DS and some phones/tablets, some small rhythm games were played, but Victoria's favorite was one released later into the story.
A three part series of rhythm games to which she still plays, as the final one released just about a year and a half ago. It featured no story except clips from various Final Fantasy games, but its music, light RPG elements, character roster, and diversity of the three modes drew her in to play it for quite a long time.
At her Mom's location, she did get to have lots of fun playing NES games, employing the classic blow off dust trick which actually damaged those cartridges. She also had a Wii and loved the Xbox 360.
Even though her youth was shaped by brash music, classic rock, some punk and hardcore music, it did settle into that easy listening for now.
TIME-->REWIND: AGES 10 - 15
Musically, this is where everything started picking up, where although she didn't play all too many rhythm games besides Final Fantasy, her later friends would be obsessed with all of them, namely Bandori!, Lovelive, and Enstars.
Before we approach that, we must view her music taste.
Victoria would always rip tons of music onto the only laptop they had, bringing it with her everywhere, swinging with it next to her. Her taste consisted mostly of classic rock and the power ballads her grandma was so fond of. She also listened to a boatload of "queercore" music, discovering lots of interesting bands from that. It was a stark contrast to the easiness of her other songs, as it was very loud, powerful, and mindful.
She loved Bon Jovi at a point too, but would settle into the Beatles as her favorite band for many years, only really changing around when she was 15-16. At school, she had free music apps on her phone which almost certainly were almost all scams, but some were legit. She was quite fond of the music classes around this time, as she thought she could prove herself as something. Plus, there was loads of equipment. The classes consisted of basic music history, watching singing in the rain, playing with some small instruments, and admiring the blue sky after all. Slowly though, the music classes would dwindle, did she not voice her concerns enough, or at all?
One time, amidst this all, past the music, Victoria once ran out during her midterms; running away was her thing, even though it wasn't. That time was different, it was around early January and her grandma who had gotten sick had returned home. Music had something to do with this too. She cut through the woods, running...running...running, past houses and backyards, to the open streets, out to where the sun grew bright, past the reeds and marsh, to her house again. When this had happened, Victoria did not understand yet but at this point she was probably not going to be in school much longer after that. When everything changed, the music stopped, but her rhythm remained.
As time went on and after Victoria's suicide attempts, that, as a reminder again, was when she was gifted her new keyboard. There was a small exchange matter as she had wanted weighted keys, but after the exchange, it became her everything, even to this day, it's still hers, tucked away, safe; there to remind her she was still alive.
When she was around 13-14, she was still listening to the Beatles nonstop, and various radio stations from some games she liked. Her eventual love for her favorite genre shoegaze was only kickstarted after tragedy; as a way to cope with it, and to rise above. It was after she moved that she started to learn more about different rhythm games, even though she stuck to ones like Final Fantasy.
In times spent in youth, she would talk with her friends about Vocaloid artists, fun songs, but most of all one friend taught her lots about various Vocaloids. Victoria was incredibly fond of Triple Baka at one point and still is.
Some info here has been corrupted, viewing the full story of Rhythm will require additional material. In fact, it may be located in a hidden link. The link(s) will only appear in a video which is unreleased.
...the signal died.
--> Time-->Rewind (Ages 16-220)
BROKEN.
Please note: The Pocket Witch cannot rewind these memories enough as Victoria has employed the use of anti-magic techniques. Without breaking through the barrier, stories will continue to be blocked at a certain point, leading to repetition. As it stands now, Victoria's anti-magic barrier is too strong. This post is over, the petals are scattered. At the heart of the magic barrier? Hatsune Miku Colorful Stage...
Take care of yourselves everyone!
- Victoria
A note: This is a test from my closet, to anyone it may concern, I just have a fun blouse. I am putting together a Bernkastle cosplay...and am just waiting for the parts to come in! For the time being this photo was just me testing one of my blouses, but I have a black and white one coming in to match Bernkastle, err, and an OP coming in, I wall see which matches better. I have a skirt I could wear too! I have the exact socks on the way, a nice chest bow, and more mwahaha!